“DO YOU CHERISH ME?”

 By Michael L. Alumbaugh © 2023

“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” ~ Proverbs 14:12

 From time to time, I hear a song that brings back fond memories. Other songs bring back haunting ones. Those “old haunts” make me wonder why I ever listened to them. I’d come to faith in Christ as a young man and have always desired to be more conformed to His image. But I was young and impressionable. So I kept on listening to them.

 I wondered if it was just the tune and wasn’t paying attention to the words, or that I enjoyed both, disregarding the words for just the pleasure of singing along? I know a number of people who say they love a song and never pay attention to the words. But I, now, wonder if those words implanted subliminal brainwashing for evil. I know I’ve struggled with wrong thoughts that have led me astray, so it has to be true of other people too.

 One of the songs I enjoyed in high school was Dion DiMucci’s “The Wanderer.” The first verse goes like this:

 “ . . . I'm the type of guy who will never settle down
Where pretty girls are well, you know that I'm around
I kiss 'em and I love 'em 'cause to me they're all the same
I hug 'em and I squeeze 'em they don't even know my name
They call me the wanderer, yeah the wanderer
I roam around . . . “

Though I never did those things outwardly, I’ve seen the temptations redirecting my mental and visual focus for years. I shrugged it off at the time as just another “cool” song but it seems the Spirit of God probed deeper asking “Do you really buy into that? Is that the type of guy you’d want as a role model? Do you emulate that internally or externally in life?” Ouch!

 Then in 1979 I vowed to my Bride before God and a cloud of witnesses to be a “One-Woman Man!” forsaking all others. Yet God kept sending me messages, and I remained blind! In the early years of our marriage my Bride saw the struggle and asked me “Do you cherish me?” In total ignorance to the true meaning of the word, I glibly replied “Sure!” gave her a kiss and smiled. Throughout the next few years, she would occasionally ask that same question and I’d stupidly answer the same way. She finally stopped.

 Years passed and I ran into another song I loved. The music was great and, again, I disregarded the lyrics! This time it was a song by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band called “Tulsa Sounds Like Trouble to Me.” I’ve listened to it for years and have still pooh-poohed the lyrics, enjoying the music. It goes;

 “. . . Had me a gal in Tulsa once
One day I took her out to lunch
I got up, excused myself
And fell in love with someone else

I ain't attached to what I got
And I'm sure likin' what I see . . . “

Now, I made mental excuses all day long saying, “Hey! It’s just a song. No big deal!”, and laughed it off. But my spirit asked “Am I the same as that guy?” “Do my eyes wander?” “What other areas in my walk with Christ have I compromised?” I’m sure you get the point!

 The Lord had been trying to wake me up for a long, long time. Yet I’d been blissfully, and sometimes willfully, ignorant to my compromises and low resistance to those temptations. As a result, my spiritual compass was damaged and I’d wandering off course. As Saint Paisios the Athonite said, “Evil comes in small steps. If it were to come all at once, we would not be deceived.”

 Time passed. Then, due to age, experience or maturity, I had an “Ahha” moment! I finally woke up to the flashing “spiritual” warning lights!  At that, I dug into the Word of God to see who I’d become. I began to see the damage I’d done in my relationship with my wife, our marriage, and probably our children, not to mention my relationship with the Lord Jesus. That’s when I decided to return to memorizing scripture. A key passage equipping me for battle was Colossians 3: 1- 8: 

 

 “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.

 

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, and greed, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and filthy talk from your mouth.”

Day by day I’ve grown more sensitive to His spirit; through Bible study, memorization, prayer and application. Oh, I stumble but I am noticing a change! I’m growing to finally understand what cherish really means! And I am learning to truly treasure my wonderful Bride! 

 

            Dig a Little Deeper: Proverbs 4:23, 12:15, 30:12; Romans 6:16, 21, 5:12, 1:32; Luke 9:62: Phil 3:13-14

Published in the July 2023 issue of Black River Times

“STOP IT!”

 By Michael L. Alumbaugh © 2023

“This testimony is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith,” ~ Titus 1:13

It had been a hard month on the production line. Schedules had shifted, incomplete units were being offloaded and managers were avoiding my data gathering. The battle was on both internally and externally and I was looking for solace! My spirit had weakened and I was yielding to a number of temptations.

 Then, over the din of assembly noise, I heard my desk phone ring. I answered. It was Don!

 It’d been over a month since we’d gotten together. Don, a friend and ally, traveled for the company so our lunch meetings were sparse but valued. We’d met years before in a Memorize the Word class. A single man at the time, he’d just come to faith in Jesus Christ and had been growing spiritually by leaps and bounds. His hunger for God’s Word was insatiable! [And still is.] He’d even begun discipling young men on his off hours.

 “Hey, you want to get together for lunch, say 11:30?”

 I needed an escape and he was one I trusted to share my struggles. “Sure! See you at the cafeteria.”

 We met up, grabbed our dinners and found a secluded spot to chat. We ran through the usual pleasantries. You know the drill: the “How are you?” and “What you been up to lately?” list. But Don, always on target, sensed my frustration. “So, how’s your walk with the Lord going?” he asked.

 I hesitated. I knew his responses to be somewhat brash at times, but I also knew he spoke from a heart of brotherly love and compassion. “Well, I’ve been fighting temptations right and left, looking in the wrong places and thinking the wrong stuff.” From there I laid it all out in more detail than I should have [I was deeper into my indiscretions than I wanted to admit and was actually enjoying them.], but I wanted someone to listen and understand. Maybe even coddle me a bit. But that’s not what I got! His response was direct and incisive!

 With a stern voice and penetrating glare, he retorted, “Mike, that’s sin! You need to stop it!”

 I knew he was right and yet I wasn’t ready to hear it. We concluded our time with a few passing pleasantries and returned to work.

 But it wasn’t over for me. That next month, the workload increased along with a bitter spirit toward Don’s, seemingly, unfeeling remark. Then about midday, the desk phone rang. It was him, back from another company trip and ready to regroup. With all the professional decorum I could muster, I clinched my jaw, gritted my teeth and gave out with my standard, “Sure! See you in a bit.”

 We met again in the cafeteria, grabbed our grub and passed the time again with casual cordial conversation. But inside I was angry. That bitterness had festered and I knew the inevitable was about to occur.

 He finally asked, “Well, Mike, how’s your walk with the Lord going since the last time we talked?”

 With some civility I responded, “Well, you remember what we talked about last time?”

 He smiled, leaned forward a little and said, “Not really! It’s been a few weeks. What’d we talk about?”

 So I laid out the previous conversation and struggles. He said, “Oh, yea, I recall some of that. So how’s it going?”

 Again, I exercised propriety. He’s my friend. So I asked, “Do you remember what you said?”

 His smile grew as he responded, “No. What’d I say?”

 With controlled frustration I retorted, “You said, ‘Mike, that’s sin! You need to stop it!”

 With a jovially perplexed look he replied, “Wow! I did? Man, I’m sorry! I don’t remember that!” Then, with a more solemn look, he continued, “But it’s true. It’s sin.”

 At that moment, something happened inside me. I saw a true friend who loved me in spite of my faults and was willing to risk a broken relationship to call me out! Instead of a bitter response, the Holy Spirit soothed my mind and emotions. He brought to remembrance one of Don’s favorite Bible verses from years before and it had really stuck with me: “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” (Proverbs 27:17) I’d come to realized Don hadn’t been snarky or unloving but just the opposite. He had demonstrated true brotherly love and compassion on me. He knew I needed to man-up and get back to a proper relationship with the Lord!

 With faint tears, I said, “Don, don’t apologize. I need to ask your forgiveness! You were right in showing me tough love as only you can! I’ve been bitter about this since that day, but it’s gone! I feel inner peace again like I haven’t felt in a while. Thanks for being a true friend.”

 Years have passed and we still get together. And, as is my custom, I occasionally bring that incident back up as an offering of praise to the Lord for his willingness to give me the kick in the pants I so desperately needed.

             Dig a Little Deeper: James 5:16; 1 Cor 10:12; 2 Cor 13:10; Gal 6:1-2; 2 Tim 4:2 

Published in the June 2023 issue of Black River Times