“CLASS DISMISSED!”

 By Michael L. Alumbaugh © 2023

“For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” ~ 1 Samuel 16:7

 It was early autumn. The leaves were turning, the air was chilling and the student body was settling in for the long haul of the first semester classes. Mine was the New Testament class with Dr. Sawyer, a gentle soul with a warm smile, kindly manners, and a occasional tendency toward tedium. This morning’s lecture was one of those.

Sandy, a relatively attractive young lady of medium height and build, sat across from me and one seat back. She was always dressed properly, as were the other young ladies, per conservative school code; a modest blouse, top or sweater and a medium length skirt or dress. The young men generally wore “business casual.”

  She and I usually exchanged glances and grimaces with each other to overcome our near boredom, but not this morning. Looking backward over my shoulder I could see the 7:30 morning class had apparently taken its toll on her. She appeared to be in the third stage of nirvana, drowsy, eyes half closed and oblivious to anything around her.

 Well versed in giving the appearance of attentiveness; she sat with her chin resting on her heel of her hand and her elbow on her textbook. The other hand was resting on her open notebook with pen in hand as if taking notes. She was starting to doze.. As I scanned the room, some were listening attentively taking notes, others doodling, and others wearing blank expressions. All appeared to be pretty much in order as Dr. Sawyer progressed in his lectures. But things were about to change.

 As my eyes returned to my textbook, I heard strange sounds coming from behind as if someone were gagging or gasping for air after trying to swallow a golf ball. It was Sandy!  

 She suddenly sat straight up and began wiggling and jiggling. With eyes like saucers and a face as pale as chalk, she looked as if she’d seen a ghost! She jumped to her feet and reached behind her with one hand grasping the nap of her neck and the other hand shaking the back of her blouse.

 Quickly raising one shoulder and then the other, she shimmied and shook and did a little dance. Then she began swinging and gyrating her hips while grasping at the back of her blouse with both hands behind her! The clamor ensued. By this time, all eyes were on her, even Dr. Sawyers.

 “Miss Poe!” he called sternly, “Miss Poe! Please be seated!”

 But Sandy continued her chaotic cadence, wiggling, giggling, gyrating and jumping!

 Finally, the mysterious melodrama came to light. It was a little mouse! He’d been nesting inside the ceiling ductwork. As the furnaces kicked in, he decided it was time to evacuate, so he made his way to the nearest exit, the classroom ceiling vent, which just happened to be directly over sleeping Sandy.

 There, he dropped out the vent, and landed inside the back collar of her blouse. Then, being under cover, he travelled out of sight, scampering and wriggling over her spine and hips. Once there, he made his way to the bottom of the inside of her skirt and down her leg, jumped to the floor and made his escape racing toward the classroom door!

 Chad, an even tempered farm boy, the calmest, most studious, guy I’d met, saw the cause of the commotion heading his way. By then, everyone else was either sitting with their feet up or standing on the seat of their chairs. Dr. Sawyer exceeded us all. With a shocked look and gaping jaw, he stood on his desk while pulling at his pant legs!

 As the frightened rodent raced down the aisle, Chad casually, and confidently, reached down, grabbed the critter by the tail and carried him out of the room, down the hallway and gently tossed him out the front door into the grass.

 Meanwhile, the other young ladies gathered around Sandy to comfort and console her. A couple of her closer friends escorted her out of the building and back to her dorm room.

 By the time Chad had returned from his kindly deed, Dr. Sawyer had climbed down off his desk and was reclining in his desk chair, face flushed, with the back of his hand on his forehead, covering his eyes. His legs were sprawled out full length with his toes up and heels resting on the floor.

 After a few moments of snickering and chit chat, we all returned to our seats. Dr. Sawyer, appearing emotionally exhausted, but desiring to maintain a small degree of professional composure, looked out to the remaining students, slid his papers into a neat stack and, facing the class, replied, “Class Dismissed!”

 Reflecting on this incident years later, I’d like to offer  a couple observations. First, most people look at the outside of others and make certain conclusions based on the information set before them, not really considering what influences have generated that person’s condition or situation. On the other hand, others get involved trying to rectify the situation. Then there are those who just keep their distance, not wishing to be involved.

 Which one are you?

      Dig a Little Deeper: Psalm 61:1-3; Matthew 7:1-5; 2 Corinthians 4:1-4; 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Published in the September 2023 issue of Black River Times